20 minutes till year 2008. Another troubling year awaits.

Seeing you, i really do not know how i should react anymore.

What's the 1st thought that enters your mind when you wake up? Your plans for the day? Someone special? Switching on the heater for a hot shower later? Big breakfast at Mcdonald's?

Mine? It was simple. Why did i wake up at all.

Why can't i continue to lie, to lie and never wake. Never wake in this surreal reality that just drains me every waking moment of my life.

They say the truth hurts. It doesn't. The truth kills. It kills your hope. It kills your faith. It kills everything you ever dreamed of, every belief you have, every damn thing you ever worked for.

All that i am. All that i ever was. For what? For what?

Nothing. Zero. Nada. Zilch. Hello. Goodbye. Come again soon.

All the effort i ever put into myself trying to change, amounted to nothing.

All the days i spend cracking my head to write my 1st song, she never even heard it once.


To any almighty being way up there who is controlling us insignificant beings way down here. Just end it already. You've already screwed me over way beyond my limitations. I'm ready to die now.

Fuck me

- This post has been deleted because i felt like it. -

20 days have come and gone. Without realising it, it's common test week next week. Pffft. Please tell me again why product design students have to take up electrical engineering and mathematics.. Seriously, how helpful can those modules be for us?

Ok, time for major summary. Just the main points.

21st November, Wednesday
Performed my song for monthly performance. I must admit, the song preparation process actually turned out far better then i had expected. True, it was far from perfect, but it had exceeded my original concept for my song. Just goes to show how bad i am at melodying and arranging. Although actual performance had minor hiccups here and there, it was good enough for me. 1st song, so i wasn't expecting much. Very surprised with the comments for my lyrics though. Personally, i thought it was kind of cheesy cheesy, but who knew it would be ranked 4th for lyrics (ok.. given there were only 9 songs performed that night.. but still!).

Special thanks to Shao for bassing, Dixon for guitaring, (me for drumming >.>) and Zhiwei for melodying,arranging and of course, singing. He looked pretty bummed after singing my song though, but i felt it was done pretty well already. It's okay if you 'screw' (in his sense) my 1st song, there will be more songs to come. Count on it. Hopefully i can depend on you to sing them for me again. (x

Posted both lyrics and song recording after much deliberation. Was obviously concerned about the whole copyright thingy, but what are the odds right? Besides, i don't think my lyrics are that good that people would want to steal them. Yeap, i thought too highly of myself perhaps. Anyhow, the lyrics and recording is at the bottom of my profile page. Expect more compositions there in future. Hopefully i can be more then a drummer in SCC. Being an english lyricist gives me something to fall back on when i fail miserably as a drummer.

28th November, Wednesday
Once again, monthly performance, but no songs to perform this time. Well, i actually did have a song to perform with Johnny, but he decided that he wasn't ready at the last minute, so the song wasn't sent in. However i did have 3 songs to perform for the concert auditions. 聆听，战神 and Still Friends. 聆听 was okay (though i heard it was worse then the 1st time it was performed, courtesy of moi), 战神 went pretty well, and Still Friends, well, it seemed that i overplayed my part for the song. Felt kind of shitty after Still Friends. Ironically, Still Friends was Zhiwei's 1st composition. Wanted to talk to him after that performance, but 战神 was right after, so i couldn't. By the time 战神 was done, i couldn't find Zhiwei anywhere. Totally felt so horrible. He was auditioning his 1st song, and i just had to spoil it. Nice one. >.>

30th November, Friday
Went to help out for SCC Booth performances at the student plaza. Alas, the drum wasn't carried down, so no random jamming. =/ Anyhows, Mandy actually dropped by the booth. Well, technically, he rushed all the way after booking out from camp. Apparently he wasnted to be there as early as he could. He actually 'impromptu-ly' performed 2 songs too. Sweet Surrender and Searching. SEARCHING!! Why no drumset ~.~

Packed up the booth at around 6 pm-ish. Everyone like, left there and then, leaving Ivy and Xinghu for guitar course, Mandy and me in the clubhouse and Ziqin to look after us (o..kay.. sounds abit off..). Rare jamming scene in clubhouse. Mandy and I jammed a litle, but it was him on the drums and me playing the bass. Haha.. bass is pretty fun to play actually. Found out through jamming that my style of bassing was slightly punk-ish. After that, he helped to train my 'song feeling' by playing on the keyboard with me on the drums. I don't think i played quite right for the 1st 2 songs he played, though i managed to get the groove of the 3rd song. Then i realised it was because he was playing Touched By An Angel, a song which i played before for him. So yeah.. out of 3 points, i scored ½? Whoop-dee-doo

12.53 p.m.. Time for me to go. EM3B lecture. Wonderful wonderful time with mathematical equations involving things like differentiation, integration, exponentials and such. Oh boy, i can't wait!

Yeah right..